Heil Pope!

The Holy See has elected a new pope, Joseph Rotzinger (now Benedictus XVI), ironically a former Hitler Youth. Maybe that isn't so ironic though. Considering that the Vatican treats women and gays with about as much respect as Saudi Arabia (minus the beheadings) and has created more wars and deaths than Der Fuhrer could ever dream of. Sure, the Catholic Church has toned it down quite a few notches since the crusades, but it still controls over a BILLION people. Since most delusional (read: religious) people will usually hold their god above their country, it isn't going too far to say that this ultra-conservative pope has control over a good portion of the world. Thankfully out of those billion people a good portion live in the Western World and are less attuned to religious thought (it was widely conjectured that the new pope would be from a third world country, since poor, uneducated people tend to be the most religious)... Alright I'll stop with the religious cynicism for a moment. How the hell can the Holy See imagine to hold on to all these followers while they bash minorities, treat women like dogs, and tell everyone else they are going to hell?

Now everyone thinks that John Paul II was a good guy, but he was a little too prude for most of us, now wasn't he? Women have had the right to vote and property in almost every country for the last century, yet the Catholic church finds them so repulsive that they are denied all higher positions and their beloved clergy are forbidden to dirty themselves by sleeping with them (so they turn to little boys, who they hope to convert to priests someday...). It should be noted that the new pope blames the priest molestation charges on the media, not the church's rules.
Thankfully to those who would like to see major changes in the Catholic Church (since, unfortunately, it isn't going away soon), Ratzinger is the oldest pope in over 250 years so he will hopefully meet his god sometime soon.